FROGGIES... MY room mates

I luv em... They escorted me from my bathroom to the porch last night and I had to just sit and watch them do their lives.So good at being frogs.
A new one in my bathroom sink appeared yesterday.I went to brush my teeth last night and he stuck his face out from the little hole.I put a spider in his sink, he gobbled it up and I couldn't keep from feeling such strong emotions.I so love the simple way of frogs.I have a lot to learn from them.

Rehab

Ah such a word.
REHAB.I am working with a dog who has had too much pressure on him and he wont track.He lays down, shuts down.Handler gets mad, shuts down,wont train dog.Circles.Everything circles.I take dog yesterday and play with him.I mean really get on ground,wet, dirty play with him.I set standards of how I will play and he willingly works within my boundaries.I tracked him.He did beautiful.Better then beautiful.He was stopping so fast on articles that his ass just about came over his head.He was so happy to be working WITH me he was willing to do anything.Handler didnt leave when I very sternly tell him to FUCK OFF when he even thinks about approaching dog...so I think ok, he is ready for the truth...This morning handler gets out happy.Dog sees me and is instantly ready to work/play.Dog tracks BEAUTIFUL today, on track, downs on all articles,kisses me(we made out on the track its true) and leave track when finished wanting to do more.Now THAT is what I am talking about!! My heart flies with eagles when I get it right with the dogs and they respond perfectly confirming my guts. I can so love dogs... wish I could get it to transfer to humans... Dogs dont lie.That is so where I get hung up....
Twins will be here in a month and I am so excited.They will b e flying out so they can spend 8 days here.We are going to the high country,going to rent Kayaks one day... and river, eat, smoke, laugh.I am so excite to see them.Eight whole days!! Sad Rowan wont be here but that is her choice.
Laurie is going to come stay with dogs while we go to hot springs and such.YES!!
OK,Lance here and we are working on black berries today.Been canning/freezing like nuts. So much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plums off of my own treesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

WOMEN IN BLACK -INSIDE ME

I thought of them as I drove in and saw the farmers over in the grinding hole area.I wished them inside me to calm my hurt,my frustration.

I packed my pipe and went over to the rock to sit and think of the women in black and how they stand quietly.silent yet in full protest..

So I crawled up on the rock and sat.I looked over at them and they saw me there and stopped to talk to each other.

I tried as Laurie said to feel compassion for them.The young mexican woman is lovely and I imagine there is some pain in what she is doing because she knows.She is native to Mexico.It is in her blood.

But the tractor drivers are hard to have compassion for.I told them about the site.I explained the sacredness of it.

Summer Solstice is here.

With that, its gone and the nights are longer and the days are shorter.I personally have been kind of kateewompus since Jan with not doing my regular stuff due to back injury.It is a interesting time for me.I drove today for three hours and oh my goodness, my back hurts tonight.This is all new to me and I am trying...no doing my best to not let it completely overwhelm me.I am a do it my self kind of girl and that mostly works really well for me.Now however, I am meeting a new kind of girl inside me.. she take two trips to car instead of one, she moves gently instead of so bouncy.She is very aware she even has a back now... lol..She is me and I embrace me kindly.
Been exchanging e-mails with life room mate and I swear its kind of like insanity.. doing the same and expecting different results... I am sure he feels the same about me.But we are making headway.At each intersection in our communication I have to remember I have a choice how I go forward,how I respond.Its good and keeps me really present.I think we very easily get into this weird competition of who feels the worse from the others actions... Time to grow up.Choose different way.
CHOICE- write it on a piece of paper and hold upside down to a mirror... the only english word you cant change in a mirror..That is how important CHOICE IS.We give it away so often...

rock in my soul

it has been weeks since I have learned I come not from the natives as I had previously thought... I had always thought I had been a Indian at sometime in my life.I have always been drawn to their lives, their belief systems about the sacredness of the earth.I come from the rocks.Which is why I always live around so many of them.Why I am drawn to them.
When my father came two years ago,we spoke about his father, I should of known that there was something up....My grandfather was a stone mason.My father always worked in rock.I come from the rocks.That is why I pick them up, carry them around,have them in my trucks, window sills...Longing for connection to my family.
That is why I am hard, why it is difficult for me to beat around the bush as they say.When i say something, it is like a rock through water. straight to the bottom.Not comfortable to fall against.. I am a rock, I am a island..and a rock feels no pain. and a island never cries....
I am a stoner.

Human behavior

I just dont get humans very well.There is one theme that comes over and over through my life.
Human's lie and then expect me to respond to their truth.I just don't get it.Dogs don't lie.Unless taught to by humans.
A example.There is a dress code at the club...but no one sez anything about it to me.Six months later,I get in trouble for breaking the code for six months.Had someone of said something the six months of wrong dressing or build up of resentment would not occur.Fat women hate me.I shouldn't wear short shirts... tight pants..
A year ago, I offered a pup to my friend Rowan who had said for years she wanted that kind.So when I offered it, she was free to say no, it was a bad time,that she DIDN'T REALLY want the pup, just wanted to talk about it.I would of understood.Instead, she sez yes and for four months, I am subjected to silence from her stupid boyfriend who said nothing.Like I forced the pup on them.I was told by Rowan that I should just let him be... As if twenty one years of being punished by Colin for dogs wasn't enough.Before this the guy would talk to me, called me hot (as if I should be impressed with myself because he thinks I am hot).So I get punished because this guy cant tell Rowen he didn't want the dog.How stupid.What a coward.So I get blamed,
I wish people wouldn't lie.I wish I understood them as well as dogs.It is awful to have to deal with people who lie about their lives and then blame it on others.
After calling the chief four times about the plowing next land over through the grinding areas,I realize he is lieing to himself and me.He isn't going to do what he said and he is mad I remind him of that.
Humans are weird and I am feeling more comfortable with dogs.