Monday, July 13, 2009

Oberon

Waiting for the lab work to come back.He doesn't want to put any weigh on it today and I think I am going to suffocate.I can hardly breathe today and the taste of panic coats my mouth.
I cant think straight and am fighting for calm.
I caught the July rattle snake in the yard on Sat night.That helped as I was a nervous wreck about the "coming july meeting".She is big,11 rattles.She wasnt happy about being caught but not as combative as the one last July.I have to go let her go this morning and will place her near a nice creek at Spenceville.
Oddly enough Bodie showed up here last night.He is working on a film about a woman medicine horse.I love to hear him sing and wonder why the universe brought him here.He wants to come walk and see the grindingholes and such.I have become so much more picky about who goes over there now.The chief of local tribe is no longer welcome here on this land and I am grateful to the spirits for clearing my heart about my responsibility about the place.I realize that it wasnt my place to make them want to come back and love their ancestors home.I only had to offer it.That feels so good to be clear about.
The twins will be here in 11 days.I am very excited to spend eight days with them.I think we will spend time with alot of water.
I ask the universe to not take Oberon now. I have to go get things cut off my back and I find it amazing that I am following him on this medical trail.I have always followed Oberon.I cant imagine my life without Oberon right now.
I need to pay attention.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

OBERON- MY FRIEND

In fifty one years I have met a lot of souls.I have not in my life experienced one like Oberon.I feel him wraped around my heart like a life force.I have followed him and he has led.I am honored.He trust me and reminds me daily I am worth his love.We dont lie to each other.We wake up everyday honoring one another in our lives.We stretch and I rub his belly when he rolls to his back.We discuss the day and together we start it.We are considerate of one another and respect each others strenghts, weaknesses.we are in love,we are about love.The love and respect we feel for each other is evident to everyone who sees us together.He is the one spirit in my life experience I have never lost respect for.No matter if he is in the truck or not, I feel him always with me.He has taught me about love, honestly,committment.I am forever grateful to him.
We went to see Tim today.First Tim poked it and looked at cells under scope.. red cells and a few weird ones.So they X-ray and of course Oberon isnt interested in laying still so we knock him out and do X-ray which shows what ever "it" is... has a good grip on his bone.So Tim carries him to other table and I comfort him while tim numbs lump and begins to cut.It is too attached to bone to remove so we get a small piece and send it off to lab.I hope we know by Sat.Oberon woke up and said lets go home so now he has a YELLOW(omg) bandage and is sound asleep.He was happy when he woke up and wanted to jump in truck...no way old man.
I have made the decision if it is as Tim thinks a cancer of some form... I will not cut his leg off to "save him" or give him more time.I can not widdle down my friend.But I beg the universe from the guts of my soul, please dont ask me to kill him.Anything else,I beg.