Post Tramatic stress-

It is with a heavy heart that I find myself-Leda is very sick,throwing up-even water-I had her X-rayed this afternoon and her stomach is clear- there is something in the intestines but dont know if that is causing the throwing up.I am a wreck.I used to handle emergency's really well.I was the calm,quiet one..Now I FREEEEAAAAKKK.And then I dont know who I am.jesus fuck- new jersy language.
All since that day.
It was a stressful one because I had laid awake all night wondering about the lost guy then Obie got skunked immediately in his nose...then I find out he is a member of El Dorado County Search team and they are all there-Pressure-
it wasnt until after I found him- and we were there on that mountain alone- him,Obie and I and his life was ebbing out of him and there was nothing-absolutly nothing that I could do but sit there with him, throw obie his bal for a job well done and scream- at the top of my lungs- for a fucking bird- a helicopter- I screamed until I was horse- and when they had taken him, I walked out at Oberons side-I have never felt so useless,so desperate-it is like it is painted on the inside of my eye lids- and now it haunts me- and I feel alone and afraid and I want Leda to be ok- and Sara to be ok-