CHEMICALS

when I see his name in my "in box"
or when I see that other guys car on the road...
I get this chemical reaction inside my body.
It sometimes comes fast, sometimes slow.
It's like something in my blood
surging with each beat of my heart.
After all these years... I'm impressed.



My friends are dying and its hard.I have a client who became a friend.. she is now 37.Breast cancer..... at 35. I pray she goes tonight and she suffer no more nor her husband and two small children.... If there is that god she holds so dearly too... Now would be a great time to show up and do something great... heal her, take her..but just let the suffering end.Her husbands letter was so desperate, so painful.So fucking honest.She is past talking now,past being awake much.Yellow.everywhere.If she were a dog,a cat, a horse, we would lovingly,gently let her go with a shot and her family there.Instead she must suffer and it is so so sad.If that ever happens to me, somebody, anybody, smmmmooother me...Sit on my face like I have asked several of you anyway.... Today I have been sad and felt so useless.helpless.I went to spenceville and a big red tail flew over me low in circles lending me insight,gently reminding me I cant fix EVERYTHING!!