YESTERDAYS

I was standing in about 3' of smashed down blackberries when I heard it rattle and felt the impact aginst my left leg.I had started wearing tall boots two days before in case...The day before I had falled in the bushes and had a hell of a time getting myself up without a hundred puncture holes..
But yesterday things looked different.I was standing there looking at all the blackberries that the goats have cleared and the stuff left to do.I realized that if that snake had got me,I would of been fucked.There is no one here-no one who has eatten off of me to pick up the carnage.My parents who fucked up my child hood, stold my children,abandoned me in my adult hood.They were life fuckin vultures,circling around me,keeping me in a horrid marriage for fear if I left they would again take my children.Parents who did nothing to teach me about birth control but took my kids when they were babies, forever harming the bond between us.Fuckers.Then there were the men... the older ones who were content to fuck this young girl but had no desire for a real relationship.I was a good fuck.Gene, who was a child molestor and never came home from work-because there were porno stores between work and his pregante wife....And Colin- dear old fucking colin.If my parents had not been circling me, I would of left the first time he backhanded me in the mouth.But they would take those kids in a minute.At 14,myfather had anew wife,new kids.Mom brought home Galen- newly parolled from San Quinten for 1st degree murder... wasnt safe for me there ! So golden gate became my home.Then Kevon- oh he was cute, offered me safety- but didnt want a relationship with me.I was a good fuck in between his women who were of the better age.
Peter- ah my savior from Colin- didnt care what impact he had on my life- he wanted a passionate lover so he could wash the taste of his last one out of his mouth.God I loved him.or how I felt with him.
I stood yesterday in the clearing of black berrieds and realized there was no one.Not one mother fucker gave a shit about my life.
I fight like hell for a place to live.Colin has ten acres with a four bedroom house..vultures.all of them. they left nothing and took it all.Bastards.
yesterday I was bit by the snake that healed me.I stood in that clearing and realized I owe them nothing.Not a fucking damn thing and today is a new day.
so while all of these main players in my life go back and forth between their secondhouses,I have fought tooth and nail for what I have.Today I have my self respect back and less for them.Today I will get up and not worry-Welcome back Song-dont ever go looking for family again.its far to expensive.