Sometimes I ......

I wanna go be a pirate on the SEA SHEPHERD.My Scorpio moon wants me to.My Pisces rising wants me to.My Capricorn sun sez I am nuts.Two out of three aint bad.

it happened like this. I swear.

When I heard her barking,I thought she was barking at the fawn living between here and the grinding holes.I went out ready to tell her to shut up when I realized there was a huge rattle snake in the bush and it was not happy.I immediately checked her, put her away and went to get dressed..Those snakes almost always show up when I am naked.I wonder what that is about? So I try and fail at catching it... and it is near the shed which I do not want him going underso I call my neighbor Rich who loves killing them.He comes over and sadly shoots it.It was huge.Ok, I recover..its the second one in five weeks.When I however found another one on Wed.morning where Oberon and Razzle were JUST playing, I just get fed up....I catch it,put it in the garbage can..It sits there for two days because I am not sure what to do with it.I am sick of saving the bastards..
So today on my way to town,I have snake in can in truck when I pull in to "the animal control office" and step inside.The women at the counter saw me and asked if they could help me...( I think to myself how sorry they were going to be for asking me that) I say yea, I got this snake ... I dont want to kill it and want them to take it.They step back quick as if I had it there.. and say they dont do snakes.I say but... but... but... you gotta.I say go get a cop ( its run by the sheriffs dept)..so they go get this cuter then hell little cop..He comes out, looks at me annd sez
'Why are you bringing me a rattler? I hate snakes" I look him up and down very slowly as he was delightful to take in.. and say
" cuz you're the man baby, you are the man"."You got the gun,the badge, the stripes." He tells me he cant shoot a thing.
Finally we agree he will take the snake due to me being overwhelmed with three in six weeks.
I leave, telling him what a sucker he is.He tells me to come back and get the garbage can.
I go back after my town trip and walk in with a chocolate cheese cake and a lb of strawberries.I see that cute little cop and tell him if I had a lover or husband who got rid of the snake for me, I would give him chocolate and strawberries.His face almost fell off.He was so flattered.Offered to help me with any snake problem I had....He will remember that for a while.It was really delicious fun.

lessons learned

I have been reflecting on my life and realize I have learned some really good lessons recently.The Sch club is a intense place and the people there are very different from me(boy howdy) and its a fine line for me to walk.I know there is something bugging a few of them and in the past I would of asked,perhaps even pushed.I have learned to not pick the chick out of the egg.Let it happen, be born.Rather it is a baby,a dream,a passion- just let it unfold.This makes for a win win for everyone.Important lessons.
Been spending time with my mom.Working on being present with her.We went and had a Root beer float last week and she thought that was good.
I am so tired as I have been canning,drying...... going to bed now
when it rains the work will die back some!!!

whew what a summer...

I am full.To the brim.
It has been a summer full of experiences.The twins were here for eight days and we had several days of fun.We went to the high country and hiked around, swam in several lakes.Oh such beauty...(I need to learn how to put pictures here).
We took Razz and he was in seventh heaven..Naked women.His kind of girl.I swear he IS a man in a dogs body...
We also went Kayaking and had a blast.I am such a water woman....moon in Scorpio and rising in Pisces..Also the river....so very yummy.I love how the water can touch all of me at the same time.The best lover I swear.......
Oberon isn't well.Right now he is limping on three out of four of his limbs and its painful to watch.I find myself emotionally unable to make good decisions about it so this morning when at the park, I asked a woman who I thought was in her 80"s if I could ask her a question.... I told her about his age and his pain.She clearly could see his love for me as he never took his eyes off me while we spoke.... I expressed my inability to know how to manage his pain.She looked at me,put her arms around me as tears ran down my face and said.... He knows what he is doing.... let his manage his own pain.I thought how silly of me...I have trusted him so much,followed him when I had no idea where the trail went...So why now do I think I need to take over? Good question.Part of it is I know what kind of dog he is and he who would drag himself if he thought I needed him.He loves me more then he loves himself by far.So I must respect that and understand that to the true depth he offers it and not ask of things which now will hurt him.Other parts are drifting into my brain...
I had a delicious time with my dad,other momma, sister and three nieces.We had a wonderful visit that I think left us all feeling like we were connected.I love all the nieces.
My freezer is full of peaches,strawberries,blueberries,blackberries....YUMMY.... I too the HR Training aids to Peter.No room here for death.Peaches from my own trees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! weee haw!!!! Boy howdy.......
I found two new grinding holes last night.Small like my breast.

Oberon

Waiting for the lab work to come back.He doesn't want to put any weigh on it today and I think I am going to suffocate.I can hardly breathe today and the taste of panic coats my mouth.
I cant think straight and am fighting for calm.
I caught the July rattle snake in the yard on Sat night.That helped as I was a nervous wreck about the "coming july meeting".She is big,11 rattles.She wasnt happy about being caught but not as combative as the one last July.I have to go let her go this morning and will place her near a nice creek at Spenceville.
Oddly enough Bodie showed up here last night.He is working on a film about a woman medicine horse.I love to hear him sing and wonder why the universe brought him here.He wants to come walk and see the grindingholes and such.I have become so much more picky about who goes over there now.The chief of local tribe is no longer welcome here on this land and I am grateful to the spirits for clearing my heart about my responsibility about the place.I realize that it wasnt my place to make them want to come back and love their ancestors home.I only had to offer it.That feels so good to be clear about.
The twins will be here in 11 days.I am very excited to spend eight days with them.I think we will spend time with alot of water.
I ask the universe to not take Oberon now. I have to go get things cut off my back and I find it amazing that I am following him on this medical trail.I have always followed Oberon.I cant imagine my life without Oberon right now.
I need to pay attention.

OBERON- MY FRIEND

In fifty one years I have met a lot of souls.I have not in my life experienced one like Oberon.I feel him wraped around my heart like a life force.I have followed him and he has led.I am honored.He trust me and reminds me daily I am worth his love.We dont lie to each other.We wake up everyday honoring one another in our lives.We stretch and I rub his belly when he rolls to his back.We discuss the day and together we start it.We are considerate of one another and respect each others strenghts, weaknesses.we are in love,we are about love.The love and respect we feel for each other is evident to everyone who sees us together.He is the one spirit in my life experience I have never lost respect for.No matter if he is in the truck or not, I feel him always with me.He has taught me about love, honestly,committment.I am forever grateful to him.
We went to see Tim today.First Tim poked it and looked at cells under scope.. red cells and a few weird ones.So they X-ray and of course Oberon isnt interested in laying still so we knock him out and do X-ray which shows what ever "it" is... has a good grip on his bone.So Tim carries him to other table and I comfort him while tim numbs lump and begins to cut.It is too attached to bone to remove so we get a small piece and send it off to lab.I hope we know by Sat.Oberon woke up and said lets go home so now he has a YELLOW(omg) bandage and is sound asleep.He was happy when he woke up and wanted to jump in truck...no way old man.
I have made the decision if it is as Tim thinks a cancer of some form... I will not cut his leg off to "save him" or give him more time.I can not widdle down my friend.But I beg the universe from the guts of my soul, please dont ask me to kill him.Anything else,I beg.

FROGGIES... MY room mates

I luv em... They escorted me from my bathroom to the porch last night and I had to just sit and watch them do their lives.So good at being frogs.
A new one in my bathroom sink appeared yesterday.I went to brush my teeth last night and he stuck his face out from the little hole.I put a spider in his sink, he gobbled it up and I couldn't keep from feeling such strong emotions.I so love the simple way of frogs.I have a lot to learn from them.