web connections-

a spider web of connections with oberon and i feel afraid for when he is gone and i must again redefine myself.Oberon is peter ( who bought him for me) and colin( who fought against me getting him) my old SAR friends, he lived on the ridge with me, on my land with colin.He was good with the grandkids.When he goes, that all is buried with him.Rowie and i loved him together. He is my guide to the secrets of scent, my light in the dark and when i think of being here without him, I feel so very lost. so unconnected.I am looking there now, attempting to make friends with the new me I know is going to be born like it or not.Even now i am in labor with the new me as I watch oberon stumble,grow old before my eyes.Zip was born june 1,1996 and died March 30th,2006. a few months short of 10 years.Obie was born June 8th,2000 and right now he is but a few months from his 10th year and I shake inside with the memory of loosing Zip.But I had oberon still. this is not the same now.I will be a new me without him and I dont know her and I am afraid.hold me please while i labor.