whew..

The dreams are coming at full speed and most of them include Colin. I realize that I have not healed after our divorce and now he haunts me in my dreams.In the last two months, my sleeping pattern has really changed and I have gone from only sleeping about 6 hours a night to a easy eight.I have NEVER SLEPT that much in my entire life.Sometimes ninc hours.Am I depressed or healing? With my smoke intake being very low I think that comes into play concernng my dreams.I either am dreaming more or just remembering them.But maybe its because I am now sleeping long enough to dream in the first place. eitherway, some of the dreams bring up a lot of crap... Stuff to work out in my day time waking.
My youger sisiter is on the verge of loosing her second child. She is now in hospital threatening to abort... I say if the baby is trying to be born, allow it.I think it sounded good at first but the reality is bad bad bad for her.It was so different with me but then I was 16 and she is almost forty so I guess she needs more help.For me it was always well you made your bed, now lay in it...Then they stole my children...
I got a letter from Colin last night telling me it wasnt his intentions to be mean to me... I wonder who is in charge of his intentions. Obviously not him.. That was why he was in my dreams.I went to bed upset by the letter.