Sick?

I dont really like that word... I am feeling better emotionally then ever yet I am physically sick.My stomach/intestines have been bleeding for almost six months now and the pain is sometimes unbareable.Like now... ahhhh!!!!trying to get my medical to kick in so I can go have the test done... They say there is a three month back up for approval. e gads, I could be dead by then.
Rama is on his way out... His ALS is taking hold and he looks awful.Jim's lukemia has returned and on Friday we will have a meeting to make a schedule to who takes him to his appointments. Arlo is so thin...
As the guy said on WITH HONORS- Its amazing how different the view is coming in to going out..
Spending time with those I love and those who love me and realizing more each day how unimportant so much stuff is and how we take nothing with us.Being at at spenceville as much as possible as it lends me much comfort in my heart,soul. Know denial isnt working at this point.The pain is intense and being calm keeps the panic back some. I see the doctor on Thursday but cant schedule any test until after the mediacl approval.This now becomes more important as times goes by.My writing.I can feel my inside burning and its intense.It is comforting to know my children are all good without me although Mondy is in big crisis and Nakirye almost dying twice in six months has everyone freaked out. I ask the universe for calmness inside.blessed be