Who is this really about..

This meeting with Colin hangs over my being like a low cloud and I ask myself again who this is really all about.Why I have this feeling of being dooped again.If I stand in my own integrity it sez this is none of my business. Who am I to think I should help this person who has been so mean,disrespectful to me.Do I REALLY think its going to make any diffference in how he feels, treats me and does it matter to me anymore?
If everything I have already done doesnt matter, why would anything I do now matter? Why do I struggle so often with the reality that some people are the way they are and change isnt a behavior they are intersted in looking at.If I work this problem the way I would work a trailing problem, then no,I cant meet with him.In trailing, each decision point is based on the last...If the dog comes through a intersection strong then I know we are on trail, if not,I have to look deeply at the last one....Our past is nothng to build a trail on and will lead me in the wrong dirrection... If he sez his life is none of my business, then why should this part be any of different and why do I keep falling in the same hole over and over? The only answer I find is that it isnt my business and I need to just shut up and stay back no matter what he wants.If I must live with the conquences of my life, my decisions, who am I to not allow him the same? This is how I got here.... by thinking I could "fix" things. We teach people how to treat us.. So WAKE UP SONG... BE RESPECTFUL TO YOURSELF.I feel clarity coming and that is good...what is hard is changing my behavior, response to him.Damn,I am getting this.. it is amazing how writing it down makes it different.Its taken me a very long time and so muchpain and having to be honest and it brings me to this... Its none of my business and I should not do anything about his problem which he wants to be my problem.I think after 28 years, I do love me more then him.I have been better to me, more reliable. Somethings I learn slow.... But I think I have it.. will carry this around today in the chambers of my heart and see how it feels.
Foxy frog momma, you are doing ok...